Day 19. #30daybloggingchallenge

Discuss your first love.


Ah! This is a tough one. My love life has always been a mess – I laugh saying it although it isn’t a laughing matter.

I find the “first love” subject a particularly hard one to discuss because it’s subjective – as in, my first relationship wasn’t my first love (I know, crazy right?). Then again, I am only 19, I am still wondering if I really knew love or it was just an illusion or a childish wish. Looking back on this side of my life, I do differentiate between when I was in love and when I thought I was.

My first love… hm… I was fourteen at the time. It wasn’t the type of love I would give now – but I’ve changed a lot since then – and still, I feel like it was love. Not only for that particular moment in time; yes, we sometimes think we love someone, but it’s only the moment and as soon as it passes we wake up to reality and realise it was only a wish, an urge, a “what we need” then.

It was an innocent type of love.

Yes, I know it’s hard to believe if we look around at how some teenager act. But it was innocent in every sense – holding hands, going out, talking long walks, kissing. I’ve had my first real kiss with “my first love.” Haha. I remember being so nervous, and wondering how it would feel like, and if I can do something wrong.

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