Missed Me?

Hello, guys!

How’s your life going? Mine has been pretty cray-cray lately.

So, I want to start by saying sorry for leaving you in the dark. I feel like I owe you an explanation for why I’ve been gone for so long without a word. Hopefully, you’ll put up with my rambling. If not, skip this part where I tell you about my life drama and read the poem below.

Firstly, thank you for the follows and likes while I was away, It’s nice to see this blog growing. It’s like my baby starts making friends. (Yay!) Please, don’t shy away and leave some comments, too. I’d love to learn what you liked most and least so I can mould the content to your liking and interests.

As you might have noticed, I didn’t post anything in about a month. Looking at my goals for this year and know that one was to be active on the blog I feel like slapping my forehead in frustration. But I guess I work on getting better from now on. I’m in my senior year of high-school, and I finish the courses in May (and then have the Baccalaureate in June). It means that teachers rush with noting each student; thus, the projects, test-papers, and homework multiplied ten thousand fold. They ate up my time.

As if it was not enough, this last month I had to work on my English and Economics certificate – one had twenty pages and the other fifty freakin’ pages! I was diligent with working on my novel and planning some blog posts when I caught a cold. When it eventually passed, I had to prepare for the exam simulation. At this point, I was starting to feel frustrated because I haven’t written anything in two weeks. (The more frequently you write, the easier it is; the more breaks you take, the harder the words flow) I said “Okay. That’s it. This weekend I’m going to sit down in front of the computer until I write something. I’ll fight that blank page and shoot arrows at it until it’s full of words.”

The plan was good, but I am just a mere human, although I forget it at times. My body can take stress and exhaustion only to a point. I passed out twice on Wednesday morning. The doctors on the ambulance suggested rest at home, so I slept my way into the weekend. After this, Easter came. As I have such a severe sweet tooth and I love cooking desserts, I couldn’t help myself spending the entire day in the kitchen (My feet hurt like I had walked on nutshells). I wanted to write the last weekend – I was planning on continuing a novel – but the muse wouldn’t speak to me, and my eyes were closing from the fatigue. No worries, though. The muse talked to me two days ago, and I managed to write down 7,000 words yesterday. Talk about having a good day!

I had to sit down and write today as well. Since I’m on my school break, I hope I’ll manage to write some articles. Be sure to follow me on Instagram (I tend to post poetry based on prompts there).


Scared

 

I’m scared.

 

I cut myself while turning the pages round;

Then my soul bled on the paper,

Sketching the next poem,

But I felt it wasn’t enough.

 

I’m scared.

 

The words come hazardously,

They don’t even make sense;

Why can’t I compose anymore?

Why can’t I write a verse?

 

I’m scared.

 

I force myself to create,

Smearing with my blood,

The air is thickening – just like in a grave-yard.

The words won’t come.

 

I am scared!

 

I still try to revive galaxies

From this mere ash I have,

But there’s no divine fire here,

So how can I light it up?

 

Did the feather forget me?

Rebecca Radd Signature

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